Category archives for: Laverne’s View

Don’t you hate when that happens??

Don’t you hate when that happens??

SHREWSBURY, MA – I never cease to be amazed by some of the things I read, hear and observe. Television commercials in particular cause me to scratch my head and ponder. It boggles my mind to realize that before these words and images are released to the public they have been approved by an infinite [...]

The plane…the plane…

The plane…the plane…

Our plane is scheduled to take off momentarily. My cousin and I stand at the airline counter and present picture proof of who we are. I have a photo on my license. Phyllis has a passport. The airline attendant looks at Phyllis’ passport, then at Phyllis, then back at the passport. “This picture doesn’t look [...]

Closet man wanted…

Closet man wanted…

SHREWSBURY, Massachusetts – After years of living with people; first my parents and then my ex husband, then a long term relationship that didn’t go anywhere, I’m not ashamed to say that living alone is quite possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m carefree, untethered and independent. It’s glorious not to [...]

Getting all I deserve

Getting all I deserve

SHREWSBURY, Massachusetts – All my adult life I dreamed of finding a man who would share my interests; someone who didn’t mind grocery shopping, or perusing malls, and liked to cook. I wanted a man who, when the laundry basket started overflowing, understood that meant it was time to throw a load into the washing [...]

Up up and away – or not….

Up up and away – or not….

SHREWSBURY, Massachusetts – Harry, my 90 year old friend, is planning a trip from San Diego to London that includes stop-overs and a number of connections. He designed it this way because his cardiologist didn’t want him taking any long, direct, flights. After reading Harry’s itinerary I took a nap. Harry enjoys planning each leg [...]

Cookie Monsters

Cookie Monsters

Yesterday I did something I haven’t done in years. I pigged out. I stuffed a whole box of cookies down my throat because I couldn’t stop If you have no understanding of pigging out, then nothing I say here will be of interest to you. Either your eating habits are under control or you actually [...]

Open at your own risk

Open at your own risk

SHREWSBURY, Massachusetts – I am annoyed with an industry that, in an effort to keep us safe, leaped from reasonable to ridiculous. It started with the manufacturing of difficult-to-open, hermetically sealed medicine bottles and lead to me devoting huge portions of my life to assaulting pill bottles. Worse than pill bottles are pill cards. Twenty-five [...]

Challenging my legacy

Challenging my legacy

SHREWSBURY, Massachusetts -Today, I left the house without making my bed. This may not sound like a big deal, but for me it was the ultimate act of rebellion and bravery. My mother warned me years ago that such abhorrent behavior could result in consequences of epic proportion; like what if unexpected company shows up [...]

Dress to impress – I don’t think so…

Dress to impress – I don’t think so…

SHREWSBURY, Massachusetts - I’m hot, sweaty and my arms feel like I’ve just scaled Mt. Everest. No, I wasn’t doing push-ups or lifting weights at the gym; those activities would have made sense. What I did was waste 35 valuable never-to-be-recovered minutes trying to make my hair look like I’d never bothered combing it – like [...]

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone

SHREWSBURY, Massachusetts – My husband has something in common with ex governor Jim McGreevey. Not only is he, too, from New Jersey but he recently came out of the closet. In fact, it happened just this week. After a 23 year marriage followed by 23 blissful years as a gay divorcee, I had no interest [...]

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