SHREWSBURY, Massachusetts – It seems there have always been claims of UFO sightings and visitations by extra-terrestrials going back as far as the Bible. Not to sound blasphemous but the book of Ezekiel is one of the best science fiction stories ever written, telling of an encounter with a being from the sky and a description of the chariot that brought him to Earth. Several paintings from the Middle Ages depict flying objects including their occupants, and various primitive societies have mythologies that speak of visitors from the stars, including specific astronomical information they seemingly couldn’t have obtained by themselves. Whether or not you believe the stories, it does make you wonder.
Records from ancient Sumeria and Babylonia in the 18th to 16th centuries BCE tell of deities called the Anunnaki, or the Shining Ones, who supposedly came from the heavens to dwell amongst us, sounding very similar to the Anasazi of the ancient Pueblo cliff dwellers of the 12th century BCE who lived in the southwestern U.S. Perhaps they’re just fables but there apparently was no way for the different cultures to have made contact or shared histories. How can the similarities be explained?
More recently, perhaps spurred by the imaginations of H.G. Wells and so many other science fiction writers, tales of flying saucers, aliens, and even abductions have become commonplace, and the descriptions of these guys from outer space all sound pretty much alike. They’re little men (never women) with bulbous heads and large almond-shaped eyes, tiny mouths, no ears, and only nostrils. They’re never described as wearing clothes nor are genitalia ever reported so I wonder how eye witnesses can be so sure of their gender.
Certainly the most famous account is the 1947 occurrence where an alien craft supposedly crashed in Roswell, NM and its dead inhabitants were autopsied. Their descriptions perfectly matched that of the other ET reports with the only difference being their color, which was reported to be gray. Previously, people usually spoke of seeing little green men from Mars, but since the Roswell incident, many encounters are now with “the Grays,” a fact that has led me to a brilliant if not fantastic theory to explain their coming here in the first place.
A frequently repeated adage is “you are what you eat,” and whatever that’s supposed to mean it certainly holds true with flamingos. Those beautiful pink birds obtain and only retain their color from the carotene in the brine shrimp that comprise the major part of their diet. When the shrimp aren’t available, the birds actually lose their coloration, a fact that I believe accounts for the aliens’ presence.
It’s my contention that Grays are actually Greenies who are lacking chlorophyll because their planet became defoliated due to a lack of moisture, forcing the creatures to come to Earth to get a fresh supply of the green stuff. Of course we have an abundance of plants, but what they really require to keep their verdant glow is broccoli. Not only does it turn them green but also gives their heads that characteristic shape. Hooray… I’ll give them all they want.
From now on when my wife chastises me for not eating broccoli I have a good excuse, that I’m saving the stuff for the aliens to avert an all-out inter-galactic war.