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Senior Moments – for week of May 26

Spencer3-300x2001SHREWSBURY, Massachusetts – We’re all aware of how the advances in science and medicine have dramatically extended our life spans and improved the quality of existence in general. Consequently, it only makes sense that in pursuing “the sweet bird of youth” we all want to not only stay young but look that way as well. The cosmetic industry has always enjoyed great success along with face lifts by plastics surgeons, but now with Botox injections and radical facial and body reconstructions, people are recapturing their youthful appearances virtually overnight… well almost.

Of course it’s been a boon for show business celebrities who can now extend their careers another 20 years or so, though they hardly resemble their former selves especially after several subsequent operations, but regardless of their doctors’ expertise, the stars always end up looking like mannequins or somehow disfigured, especially around their eyes.

I don’t know what or why it is exactly, but for some reason their eyes never look natural and are always dead giveaways. Some procedures are so obvious that I wonder why the particular actor isn’t ashamed to appear that way to the public, not only looking strange but hardly any younger besides.

Not wanting to be cruel I’d rather not point to any particular public figure since it really isn’t necessary. I’m sure you have your own specific favorite examples, but I will however mention two who are worthy of note though totally dissimilar.

The first is Joan Rivers, that wonderful comedienne who rather than trying to hide her many face jobs actually makes the subject part of her act. With skin so tight she can hardly move her lips or blink her eyes, she resembles a figure in a wax museum, though her sense of humor has not been diminished. For that reason I don’t classify her with the others since she isn’t trying to fool anyone. Rivers just doesn’t want to look old and is proud to admit it. Instead of criticism I have to give her credit.

The other personality is John Kerry, the current Secretary of State in the Obama administration who previously had been the Massachusetts State Senator. Though not as old as Joan Rivers and being a statesman, I would think that age would be an advantage since the accumulation of years is supposed to show experience and if anything connote wisdom. In Kerry’s case that doesn’t seem to hold true, for while getting a face makeover in an attempt to look young, he appears rather gruesome with those phony eyes and a slash for a mouth, causing his lips to barely move. He seemed fine before but now it’s painful to look at him, and whenever he appears on TV I want to yell “who messed (I actually use another word) up you face,” and “you should get your money back… you got screwed.”

Fortunately I’m not in the public eye so having my features altered is not a consideration, but should I ever become famous I think I would keep my face just the way it is. If Kerry got mutilated, a guy who could afford the very best surgeon, can you imagine what a less expensive face-carver would do to me?


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